The Mobile Drape Ladies Do The Interislander

Marg took the company decals off the van for the trip

You might remember the Mobile Drape Ladies from their last crazy adventure, which was basically sewing up an incredibly accurate set of robust drapes, all in a day’s work, really.

Well, Marg and Pat are back—and fierce as ever—and this time they’ve won a trip to anywhere in the South Island.

You’ll need your thermals Pat

Marg is on the Trip Whatsapp chat Pat set up with a picture of them standing outside the drape bus after a particularly harrowing job involving net curtains.

As a consequence of being so incredibly loyal and efficient, work has allowed them to take the Drape Bus on the trip. Humbled, they gratefully accept and make sure they wait to just south of Pokeno to get the cheaper fuel.

That Auckland fuel tax is a rort, Pat

Marg is driving while Pat sorts through her toiletries which consist of Avon’s “Esoterica” collection of thick creams that leave her skin with a perpetual dewiness.

Through the towns of the North Island they go; Huntly, Taumaranui, Tūrangi. Pat’s first proper boyfriend hailed from Ohakune so they stop outside his old family home and share a Thermos of Bell Tea, the tea endorsed by the “wonderful” Sir Mark Todd.

Another round of fuel is sourced and a packet of Juicy Fruits thrown in for good measure and finally, they are flying down the Kapiti Coast towards Wellington with Wasted Days And Wasted Nights (by Dennis Marsh) blasting from the Akai.

Pat took over driving duties in Hunterville and is feeling the burn “in my gluteus maximus, Marg” but skillfully backs the drape bus onto the Interislander, and once parked, Marg pops straight in the back to fill an order that came through in Sanson for a house-set of drapes in Karen Walker’s “cack green” as Pat calls it. Thankfully there’s enough meterage in the bus and Marg sips a piccolo of Lindauer while sewing one-handed.

Out on the water there’s a problem with the engine and the Interislander shits itself just before the Marlborough Sounds. Set adrift, the Captain radios in for mechanical help, but Marg’s father was one of the mechanics on the SS Canberra and soon enough she has the figurative hood up in the engine bay and uses a simple sewing awl to tweak the engine back to life and while she’s in there gives it a bloody good service, not before scolding the Captain for leaving it so long.

And they’re away, the pair of them have saved the day as Pat hands around a platter of asparagus rolls and gets selfies with grateful passengers.

Back in the drape bus, the pair exit the ship triumphant once again. Into their Picton motor lodge they drive, like Caesar riding through the triumphal arch and they settle in for a night of Married At First Sight (Australia) and a good strong cup of Bell tea with complementary light blue milk.

What would we do without these archetypes? What will they get up to next? (they need to be back in Auckland for the Cloth and Wool Expo at the ASB Showgrounds and Marg is getting the Coronavirus vaccine done).



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