Ok this title is pretty misleading, given that I never ran a poll.
But who cares, because we all know this to be true: New Zealand is rolling out some hot talent. These guys sit behind microphones, in front of monitors and tap out some pretty dry material about David Cunliffe (yawn) on their keyboards, while being hot.
We’ve a long history of hotties in broadcasting. I’m looking at you Roger Gascoigne. As the holder of the ‘most talked about wink’ in the industry, Rog had it all – eyelashes, winking, a microphone. Eyes.
This guy is the proud holder of a few Feltex awards, and rightly so.
So, I’d like to offer the new guard an award – ‘The Gaz Award’ for services to looks in broadcasting. Call it the Gazzer if you like. It’ll catch on for sure.
1. Toby Manhire
Is Toby our own Baldassare Castiglione, but from Wellington? He writes, he thinks; I imagine he enjoys sportsball on the side. I’m thinking he’s got some leather-bound book action in a leathery library somewhere. And corduroy trousers. I bet he’s got about 3, 587 followers on Twitter.
It’s 5,674 actually. Toby needs to be in front of a monitor more often, talking about whatever the hell he likes, because New Zealand wants to listen.
2. Wallace Chapman
Now, before your inner monologue starts up in that kind of screechy interrogative voice, the same one you use to ask ‘Where is my roll-on?’, hear me out. Wallace is a contender. He’s brainy, he’s funny. The other day he even said ‘fuck’ on Twitter, so he’s gots da streets swags also. Wallace has his own fashion blog and a beautiful wife.
Is Wallace perhaps the Jefferson Hack of our time zone? He’s a man of the people, for the people. Nothing hotter than a dude who swears and cares.
3. Ali Ikram
Completely undersung hunk. Also over-educated like Toby and Wallace (notice there’s no one here called Bruce or Trevor). Won’t bore you with his lawnmower settings. While you are busy booking up your SoHo for the night, book up a session of 3News and watch a suit be totally ‘owned’. Ali doesn’t cover the scandals; he covers legends like Morrissey and Keri Hulme. He’s the people’s poet in shiny Gucci-esque splendour.
4. Rod Cheeseman
Wherever you are Rod, you made the list of an epoch. Many a lonely housewife loved you on Good Morning, but your sardonic manner did not sit comfortably next to the vacuum cleaner salesman humour. You tried. At least you were hot, Rod, take comfort in that. By the way, where are you?
And there you have it Nu Zillund. It stops short of five because really, there’s only four winners here and let’s face it, any more than four on a list and you start to glaze over.
Men of New Zealand Broadcasting, your Gazzers are in the post. Keep on rocking our airways with your charismatic schtick and quirky but manly dress styles.
And scone recipes.