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The Year of the Tarquin

October 16, 2020Katherine Leave a Comment

It was Tarquin’s year. While everyone around him was falling to pieces over lockdowns or masks or Trump or Judith Collins, Tarquin had actually quite enjoyed the apocalypse. And then the strangest thing happened. It was the day that Twitter… Continue Reading →

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Rites of Passage: Skateaway to Paradice

July 16, 2020Katherine Leave a Comment

I was an awkward teen, a late starter in every way possible. I seemed to hit puberty later than everyone else. I lost my virginity at 18, way after everyone else. All through school until I left, I was a… Continue Reading →

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SWAP FWYH

June 1, 2020Katherine Leave a Comment

Any of you who are aged 50 years old or older will remember the good old days of buying second-hand goods in New Zealand. They were the days of the Trade & Exchange. If you wanted a good second-hand fridge… Continue Reading →

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Extremely Online

April 4, 2020Katherine Leave a Comment

Tarquin stretched and yawned. It was a new, fresh day. There was nothing on his to-do list other than to roll over and sleep until 12:35, then hop out of bed and head to the kitchen where his mother was… Continue Reading →

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Countdown to Chaos

March 1, 2020Katherine Leave a Comment

I was in Countdown today, and noticed the entire toilet paper section had been wiped clean, just like a computer hard drive. All that remained was the shelving and a few redundant price tags. Couples rounded the aisle entrance, hopeful… Continue Reading →

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The Rubbish Collection

January 10, 2020Katherine Leave a Comment

Domestic life, General, Suburban Hell series

Plastic Man

January 4, 2020Katherine 2 Comments

Has there been anything more awkward in the last year than seeing the men of New Zealand making a trip to the supermarket, clutching a set of cloth shopping bags? Most of us have now completely adjusted to this modern-day… Continue Reading →

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Prius Man

September 6, 2019Katherine Leave a Comment

Today I pulled into a service station to get my petrol, in a tidy and timely manner. I always like to pull up to the side of the pumps adjacent to my filler. The times I have tried to stretch… Continue Reading →

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Home Improvement, Boomer Styles

August 4, 2019Katherine Leave a Comment

I was doing a bit of a tidy up today and I came across some pictures of one of the houses in which we grew up. This was the second house mum and dad owned. It was the one before… Continue Reading →

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The School Holidays

April 26, 2019Katherine Leave a Comment

The school holidays are coming to a close, and parents everywhere are already drunk with excitement at the thought of little Tarquin and Bella returning to school, after school care, and out of sight quite frankly. The holidays always start… Continue Reading →

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The Mobile Drape Ladies

April 2, 2019Katherine Leave a Comment

Today on my errands, I happened upon a pair of mobile drape ladies, one of the most terrifying archetypes in human existence. Mobile drape ladies are a pair of ladies that travel in a Spotlight-branded van. They park up outside… Continue Reading →

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New Year’s

December 29, 2018Katherine 3 Comments

In New Zealand, in 1987, New Year’s Eve began at midday on the 30th December. This was signaled by whoever had backed the keg in the station wagon into the driveway. Once the keg had been tapped, it was a… Continue Reading →

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Do You Ever Feel Like A Plastic Bag?

November 8, 2018Katherine Leave a Comment

Never before have I felt more like a plastic bag. I feel I want a plastic bag every time I enter the supermarket now, and see the signs everywhere, screaming REMEMBER YOUR BAGS I imagine it’s being said in a… Continue Reading →

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Ask

July 14, 2018Katherine Leave a Comment

  Sadly, this is not about that great The Smiths song, it’s about something we don’t talk about enough in society: Computer Illiteracy in the Third Age. More than ever, the elderly (people over the age of 48) are turning… Continue Reading →

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Rites of Passage: “Mum I’m quite surprised because I got School C!”

May 28, 2018Katherine 2 Comments

Once upon a time, in Fifth Form (Year 11), I took some subjects at school. I was asked to know my exact career path at age 15, and being from a fairly middle-class and therefore fortunate family, I simply answered… Continue Reading →

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  • The Year of the Tarquin
  • Rites of Passage: Skateaway to Paradice
  • SWAP FWYH
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  • Countdown to Chaos

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