Prius Man
Today I pulled into a service station to get my petrol, in a tidy and timely manner. I always like to pull up to the side of the pumps adjacent to my filler. The times I have tried to stretch… Continue Reading
Author: Katherine
Home Improvement, Boomer Styles
I was doing a bit of a tidy up today and I came across some pictures of one of the houses in which we grew up. This was the second house mum and dad owned. It was the one before… Continue Reading
The School Holidays
The school holidays are coming to a close, and parents everywhere are already drunk with excitement at the thought of little Tarquin and Bella returning to school, after school care, and out of sight quite frankly. The holidays always start… Continue Reading
Hi, my name is Tarquin. I don’t watch Game of Thrones.
Scene: A typical white middle class drink-up. It’s late. People are barefoot and sitting on the floor. Jonathan: (pouring a large bowl of Pinot Noir) So, is everyone ready for Game of Thrones? Helen: Oh yes. It’s amazing. And people… Continue Reading
The Mobile Drape Ladies
Today on my errands, I happened upon a pair of mobile drape ladies, one of the most terrifying archetypes in human existence. Mobile drape ladies are a pair of ladies that travel in a Spotlight-branded van. They park up outside… Continue Reading
New Year’s
In New Zealand, in 1987, New Year’s Eve began at midday on the 30th December. This was signaled by whoever had backed the keg in the station wagon into the driveway. Once the keg had been tapped, it was a… Continue Reading
Do You Ever Feel Like A Plastic Bag?
Never before have I felt more like a plastic bag. I feel I want a plastic bag every time I enter the supermarket now, and see the signs everywhere, screaming REMEMBER YOUR BAGS I imagine it’s being said in a… Continue Reading
Ask
Sadly, this is not about that great The Smiths song, it’s about something we don’t talk about enough in society: Computer Illiteracy in the Third Age. More than ever, the elderly (people over the age of 48) are turning… Continue Reading
Rites of Passage: “Mum I’m quite surprised because I got School C!”
Once upon a time, in Fifth Form (Year 11), I took some subjects at school. I was asked to know my exact career path at age 15, and being from a fairly middle-class and therefore fortunate family, I simply answered… Continue Reading
Great New Zealand Archetypes: Extremely Extreme Sports Dad
The Everyman idea is a fallacy. The guy who refers to himself as “just a regular dad” is, in fact, Extremely Extreme Sports Dad, oft spotted doing the school run. He can do it because he’s his own boss. He… Continue Reading
A Thousand Yards
A Thousand Yards Between the blossom trees and along the straight, gravelled avenue the tall chimney rises. The polished steel is hot and deranges the stark slate of the blue sky beyond. You took one thousand strokes on a… Continue Reading
Coronation Street’s Deep Thinker: Tim Metcalfe
Tim Metcalfe is a hapless Englishman, stuck in the middle of others’ drama, in a suburb called Weatherfield. If you thought Steve MacDonald or Peter Barlow had fairly hard existences, think again. Windass Tim entered the show in 2013 as… Continue Reading
Wicker Chair
On Monday there was a wicker chair, its threads woven into the frame in a lacklustre taupe next to a rusted lamp stand. The shade askew and its plastic backing peeling. On the Wednesday it rained and the soaked carpets… Continue Reading
The New Zealand Buffet
Last Sunday, we hit the smorgasbord sensation called Valentines. It was my daughter’s 7th birthday and I wanted her to have the experience of plenty. We arrived at 12pm. A cursory look around the joint revealed they’d removed the giant margarine… Continue Reading
Rites of Passage: The School Ball
Here I am at my seventh-form school ball. I am seated in a chair made of cane, shaped into a peacock’s tail. To sit in this chair for some of us, was the apex of our school life, which by… Continue Reading