Never before have I felt more like a plastic bag. I feel I want a plastic bag every time I enter the supermarket now, and see the signs everywhere, screaming REMEMBER YOUR BAGS I imagine it’s being said in a… Continue Reading
Sadly, this is not about that great The Smiths song, it’s about something we don’t talk about enough in society: Computer Illiteracy in the Third Age. More than ever, the elderly (people over the age of 48) are turning to… Continue Reading
What do you reckon is the wackiest thing you can get from the Magnamail catalogue? Is it the cat that you place on your lawn, with glowing eyes, that scares away birds? Is it the hip-and-cool Mom tracksuits, polyester throughout?… Continue Reading
Once upon a time, in Fifth Form (Year 11), I took some subjects at school. I was asked to know my exact career path at age 15, and being from a fairly middle-class and therefore fortunate family, I simply answered… Continue Reading
What would you dance to on Dancing With The Stars, if you had to? Tonight’s stars chose a range of hits that fitted a rock vibe, ruined only by Robbie Rakete dancing to Whitney Houston. Dai Henwood was allowed to… Continue Reading
Dancing With The Stars New Zealand can only be described as a good night out at the Cosmopolitan Club, the proviso being that you’ve pre-loaded at home with a few hundred chardonnays and one Snax topped with tasty cheese.… Continue Reading
Telv took one look at Sarah and thought she was a bit of a looker. Troy has been trying to get his leg over his wife Ashley for weeks now. Dean (nearly all the men have four-letter names) cried at… Continue Reading
One of the great tests of parental strength is the inevitable trip to Chipmunks, an indoor play area for babies to 11 year olds, even though if you’re lucky, sometimes you might see a five-year-old knocked aside like a skittle… Continue Reading
Back in 1981 the dental nurse was on-site at most primary and intermediate schools throughout New Zealand. We had one at Owairoa Primary School. The nurse had a tight ringlet perm and she played rock music on her wireless. Around… Continue Reading
Those of us on a budget, who do not buy Hatchimals, attempt to save the $99 by buying the $2 shop Growing Pet. Sometimes we say things like: Look, Tarquin. You can get five or six of these for only… Continue Reading
Scene: A typical white middle class drink-up. It’s late. People are barefoot and sitting on the floor. Jonathan: (pouring a large bowl of Pinot) So, is everyone ready for Game of Thrones? Helen: Oh yes. It’s amazing. And people break… Continue Reading
I was an awkward teen, a late starter in every way possible. I seemed to hit puberty later than everyone else. I lost my virginity at 18, way after everyone else. All through school until I left, I was… Continue Reading
I joined Twitter in 2012. My first followers were Marcus Lush and Ali Ikram, only because I followed them first. But they were my first. “What is this place?” I thought, so different from the Friends Reunited format of Facebook,… Continue Reading
Survivor: Nicaragua begins tomorrow and I’m already laughing, because why do we think, in this country, that we have to go to “Nicaragua” to survive something? It’s a bit old-hat now that we have a housing and poverty crisis… Continue Reading
I’m on the hunt for a new TV show, for the 7.30 slot, now that Married at First Sight is nearly over. I’m yearning for more. The 8.30pm Viking-themed rape-fests available these days — they aren’t really for me. Isn’t there… Continue Reading