I was in Countdown today, and noticed the entire toilet paper section had been wiped clean, just like a computer hard drive. All that remained was the shelving and a few redundant price tags. Couples rounded the aisle entrance, hopeful… Continue Reading
Has there been anything more awkward in the last year than seeing the men of New Zealand making a trip to the supermarket, clutching a set of cloth shopping bags? Most of us have now completely adjusted to this modern-day… Continue Reading
Today I pulled into a service station to get my petrol, in a tidy and timely manner. I always like to pull up to the side of the pumps adjacent to my filler. The times I have tried to stretch… Continue Reading
I was doing a bit of a tidy up today and I came across some pictures of one of the houses in which we grew up. This was the second house mum and dad owned. It was the one before… Continue Reading
I was an awkward teen, a late starter in every way possible. I seemed to hit puberty later than everyone else. I lost my virginity at 18, way after everyone else. All through school until I left, I was a… Continue Reading
The school holidays are coming to a close, and parents everywhere are already drunk with excitement at the thought of little Tarquin and Bella returning to school, after school care, and out of sight quite frankly. The holidays always start… Continue Reading
Scene: A typical white middle class drink-up. It’s late. People are barefoot and sitting on the floor. Jonathan: (pouring a large bowl of Pinot Noir) So, is everyone ready for Game of Thrones? Helen: Oh yes. It’s amazing. And people… Continue Reading
Today on my errands, I happened upon a pair of mobile drape ladies, one of the most terrifying archetypes in human existence. Mobile drape ladies are a pair of ladies that travel in a Spotlight-branded van. They park up outside… Continue Reading
In New Zealand, in 1987, New Year’s Eve began at midday on the 30th December. This was signaled by whoever had backed the keg in the station wagon into the driveway. Once the keg had been tapped, it was a… Continue Reading
Never before have I felt more like a plastic bag. I feel I want a plastic bag every time I enter the supermarket now, and see the signs everywhere, screaming REMEMBER YOUR BAGS I imagine it’s being said in a… Continue Reading
Sadly, this is not about that great The Smiths song, it’s about something we don’t talk about enough in society: Computer Illiteracy in the Third Age. More than ever, the elderly (people over the age of 48) are turning… Continue Reading
Once upon a time, in Fifth Form (Year 11), I took some subjects at school. I was asked to know my exact career path at age 15, and being from a fairly middle-class and therefore fortunate family, I simply answered… Continue Reading
The Everyman idea is a fallacy. The guy who refers to himself as “just a regular dad” is, in fact, Extremely Extreme Sports Dad, oft spotted doing the school run. He can do it because he’s his own boss. He… Continue Reading
Tim Metcalfe is a hapless Englishman, stuck in the middle of others’ drama, in a suburb called Weatherfield. If you thought Steve MacDonald or Peter Barlow had fairly hard existences, think again. Windass Tim entered the show in 2013 as… Continue Reading