Worst Christmas Movies


1.  Christmas With the Kranks


Background courtesy of Panmure Climb World

Bollock-bad movie starring between-gig Tim Allen and Jamie-Lee Curtis.  Just awful.  You can’t get this 1 1/2 hours back in your life.

However, if for some reason it’s all that there is on from the 100+ channels available, then here’s the basic plot:

Tim Allen is a wacky old dad and Jamie-Lee; long-suffering mum.  Enter Dan Aykroyd.  The end.

2.  Barbie: A Perfect Christmas


Mariah Carey in her wildest dreams

Here is the description from Wikipedia:

“Barbie tries to get to another country with her sisters for Christmas but gets snowed in another town where they have to spend Christmas at a hotel.”


Imagine that.

3. The Holiday


Souls colliding

The way movie makers represent how adults interact in groups is truly a thing of wonder.  In this British-American disaster movie, Jude Law and Kate Winslet are the poms and Cameron Diaz and Jack Black are the Yanks.  Something gets lost in translation, and then the music of Hans Zimmer plays at the end.  A complete shambles.

4.  The Nightmare Before Christmas


Hamlet subtext? Or just crap?

I actually saw this at the movies at the time in ’93. I hate Tim Burton, except for the Planet of the Apes franchise which is the best franchise since Chrisco.

This movie is so self-indulgent that I actually felt resentful toward the director at the end.  ‘Keep your crappy childhood abuse to yourself,’ I said to no-one, since I went to this movie alone.

5. Die Hard


Bruce Willis as Mel Gibson

Although a great film and series, the premise of this one is everyone’s worst nightmare.  On the top floor of a building, a company are having their Christmas party.  Imagine it being ruined by an angry bald guy.  All that time you spent on your manicure.  Gone.



I’ve had it up to he-arrrrr


  1. I’d be satisfied with a repeat of ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’, and maybe ‘Bad Santa’, Shostakovich must be rolling in his grave.

    • I’m sure they will put that on maybe Christmas night, and you can watch it with a nice cup of eggnog.

  2. It’ll probably be on past my bedtime, due to it’s depiction of women as disposable sex objects.

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