The Real New Zealand Wotif List

The following were selected by the National-voting subscribers who took part in the Wotif survey, asking who they would most like to share an arm rest with on a plane.

Richie McCaw

John Key

Rachel Hunter

Peter Jackson

Dan Carter

Paul Henry

I’m not sure if it was long-haul or short-haul.

Long-haul is different, because aside from the arm rest, there is another part of the plane that can be shared: the smallest room. But more on that another time.

The imagination of people cripples me at times.  Of all the humans in this fine land you could enter discourse with on a plane, people chose John Key.  Probably an interesting guy for sure, but…what would you actually end up talking about?  The election landslide?  Hawaii?  Golf?

I think there needs to be a shakedown here.  The Sane Companion likes nothing better than the underdog, and so I have compiled a helpful alternative list:

Sally Ridge


It rubs the lotion on its skin

Sal could be surgically partitioned from Jaime for 12 hours or so and actually be quite normal and interesting.  I bet she’s got some stories! Relatively pleasant company.  You, in return, could give her any of the following conversational schtick:

–   financial advice

–   career advice

–   relationship advice

–   housing advice

–   advice advice

Matthew Ridge


Upgrade me, bitches

How diamond an experience would this be?  We’d have a few Toohey’s and some cool chats about league, union and Sal, Nicky, Rebecca and Carly.  Also “Clutch Cargoes” himself, Toddy.  Say that in a deep gruff New Zealand voice.


John Campbell


He just needs a smelly armchair and we’re away!

Probably seriously good company.  I’d munch eagerly on the tiny cheese square and the grape, while listening to New Zealand’s answer to Ronnie Corbett.

Pam Corkery


This. For 12 hours

At least you would get excellent service from the flying waiters, with Pam in da tin.  And if there so happened to be snakes on the plane, you would have your very own Samuel L. Jackson figure to assist with the opinions about them.

Javier Bardem


He went to Gore High School

Originally from Gore, Javier chooses not to reside in New Zealand because he is too good looking.



Next time on The Sane Companion: The Eiger Sanction.  First a book, then a movie, but always, Clint Eastwood.





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