This morning on the ground-breaking Good Morning show, the man panel careened into a place they found quite difficult to reverse out of: women and premenstrual syndrome.
Good on them for trying though.
It’s a terrible area anyway, not only for the sufferers, but their poor partners who are rendered hopeless, sexless and lost for the sometimes 10-day stretch that this dark bitch-curse can last.
What is it? It’s lots of things, but mainly it’s a huge stick grenade thrown into a normal happy domestic life. No one knows who threw it and why, all they know is that there is a fuck-tonne of damage to clean up. No one wants to talk about it at all.
The main problem is that when a women is in the throes of PMS, she often doesn’t realise what she’s like: a complete she-bitch.
Unfortunately, the man panel couldn’t say that. Instead, under the
egg shell treading measured guidance of Matt Gibb, who is the presenter equivalent of Chux cloths (soft, disposable, useful, multi-use) they fiddled around with the issue, and nervously looked at their hands.
It’s an absolute minefield. What they concluded was that the best thing to do during this time of Chernobyl-like fermenting, is never to blame anything on the PMS itself. Here’s my own example:
Your female partner gets angry over the evening chicken dinner. The chicken was crumbed incorrectly. It’s an irrational kind of rage, resulting in dinner being cancelled and everyone being made to go to bed early. For Christ’s sake, do not then go to her and say:
I think this is all a bit silly and maybe you are a bit premenstrual. Look, our lunatic cycle calendar says so. The one you marked out yourself. Here it is. Look. Hold it.
Unless of course, you don’t mind having facial reconstructive surgery the next day. And having the headlining in your Audi wagon redone.
They are right. But it was interesting to watch the way Gibb kept on having to remind everyone that it was no laughing matter.
A while back, a company CEO resigned for his comments on a radio show in relation to pay equity and women’s periods. He subsequently made a pig’s breakfast of interviews and skulked away to Banished CEO Land, the land where you are forced to have to reinvent yourself as a motivational speaker, just like David Brent.
It’s a tough one. Men probably are the ones who wear PMS behaviour the most, and understand it the least. Women’s anger is very different from men’s. It’s a lot less direct and can be really, really nasty.
Apparently one of the worst things for PMS is sugar. All that scoffing of comfort wine and chocolate at this time is really bad. You may as well just take some ragin’-roids.
Like most physiological body failures, they can be fixed partially by diet modification. Unfortunately for the female sufferer, this means deprivation, which equals hell for all.
But never mind all that. We’ve got the men’s panel to sort out such woes. The guys mean well. Whatever will they discuss next week, of a Monday?