In about July of this year, I did what bloggers sometimes do.
I read an article in a newspaper (online, not even the paper version) and had a white, middle-class reaction to it.
I then hopped on my blog and blogged up a story around it, having carried out none of my own research at all, and posted the blog.
This was in relation to the new series of The Block New Zealand, which is I think about 1/152 of the way through.
I made some claims about the four couples, based on my own biases and my rampant empirical skepticism.
This was before watching the show, and I very much based my observations on four pictures and a few run-throughs of the promo clips on TV3’s wesbite.
Now I am watching the show it’s time to revise and review the couples.
These guys are hotter than the sun. Affable, honest, a genuine couple. Good solid spinal columns. You never hear a dribbling narrative about woes or problems unless it’s in direct relation to monsoon rains on a new designer concrete floor.
Designer concrete? Jaysus wept. I remember my late father making concrete on the uneven floor of our garage by tipping a pile of Ezicrete in the middle, then shoveling and mixing water in and kitchen detergent, while holding a nice 750ml bottle of Lion Brown. If I was to say the words designer concrete garage floor to him, he would have ripped the cap of the brown glass bottle with his teeth, squinted at me incredulously and continued to make crude, home made, perfectly feasible, footpath-grey concrete, on the garage floor.
Lots of face time has been given to Maree and the sub-plot about her conflicted relationship with ‘The Wolf’, Peter Wolfkamp. If you shut your eyes and listen to The Wolf speak, you can get pregnant, even if you are a man.
Here is a picture of him when he was in supergroup A-Ha:
James must feel like tits on a bull when these two are going at it.
I’m still mixing their names up and their Leona Edmiston spectacles. But, they are hard working, and have been positioned as the hapless couple, unable to complete the first challenge because of the rain. Who decided to start filming a show involving intensive building, just as Auckland’s wet spring season was setting in?
Oh that’s right. Nothing is random on this show. Sometimes I look around the sets for the snow machine hidden in the hedgerows, or the person tipping buckets of water into the just-laid floors.
Anyway, Alex and Corban are still contenders. A nice couple to be sure.
4. Amy Grant and Keith Urban
Clearly, the writers needed a couple for the viewers to eye-roll over. It’s as if for humans, complete normality is impossible and we crave the chaos of the needy, preppy, slightly ineffectual Quinn and Ben.
I bet a thousand baht that these guys win the fucking Block. The pregnancy storyline is only interesting in that these people had sex once. Just for a second I tried to envisage it, but then I checked myself and quickly took to my flails and rosary beads for being so damn crass.
I genuinely hope that Quinn and the baby stay well throughout the duration, but the face time being given to these two talking about how many grains of sugar they had in their coffee before realising it was salt is inexplicable.
I feel we viewers don’t belong to their gang of two, and to me, that speaks of WINNER.
5. Pete and Andy
In my last blog I jokingly put Pete and Andy in the poll asking who would win?
Who’s laughing now? These two have already had a cameo, playing the shambling outsiders, who come to judge the contestants’ digger skills, and I suspect that they possibly reside onsite in a little caravan just because they have nowhere else to go.
This week on The Block: Someone else is pregnant, but who? Are the Twitter rumours true? Or did I just have too much to drink last night?