After all is said and done, what has happened on The Block NZ 2014 is no real surprise, given that a) it’s set in Auckland, b) it stars people from Auckland, and c) it thrives on the kind of festering cut-throat competition that exists in the modern era. Of Auckland.
Good old little Pt Chev eh? Little old Pt Chev. You never used to go there unless you were going back to your student rental after a hard night at Shads, or were paying a reluctant visit to the Zoo or MOTAT with the kids.
Not now, punters. Auckland real estate is such that each square foot of the soil is ‘worth something’, and someone gets a cut of that, then the council (and the bank with their interest) applies a formula and hey presto, you are paying over and over again for something as silly as (literally) a piece of soil. Not silly to all, but it seems pretty silly the way us New Zealand Europeans are doing it. We’re not fighting, necessarily, to get a piece of land, we’re fighting for a perpetual income. The revolutionless generation.
We’ve all got to have a home though right? But that’s not what The Block is about. The Block is purely about profit and pocketing the money at the end. And the Win. These contestants, remember, are never going to live in these homes. It’s not Mitre 10 Dream Home.
So let’s take a final look at who is a ‘Winner’ on this show. I don’t often get feedback on this blog, except from my two loyal followers, Craig and Kerry-Anne. So how about some comments that I have to approve or trash, or even report to someone, like other bloggers?
1. Jo and Damo
Hot. Sexy. And that’s just Jo. I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
I rather like these cats. But they do already own property in Feilding. What I want to know is, are people just getting together nowadays and then the night after the first ceremonial bonk, they go straight to the bank (notice how close the spellings of bank and bonk are) to take out a mortgage together? How is it that they all have bloody houses in their 20s? In my day, we used to spend at least ten years in a twisted and financially difficult relationship, drinking all the savings up at Head Like a Hole gigs.
2. Maree and James
I don’t like their chances, quite frankly. They have a wonderful sense of style, and their own home already. Just sayin’. I can’t remember anything James has said or done the entire show, because Maree is always talking. At least The Wolf is onto someone else’s arse now, namely Ben, because of his cruel predilection for making tradespeople carry materials around or something. If these guys win, I’ll be surprised, but it will be a pleasant one.
3. Alex and Corban
The new ‘bad guys’ of this series, because they own crap-tonnes of housing already. Yes. No shit! I figured this one out before the show even started, and I’m not even hooked up and in the know. I can tell by their important horn-rimmed glasses and plaid shirts (to show that they are still paying off student loans from their BArch degrees).
Good luck guys, but I don’t think you need it.
4. Quinn and Ben
Well, what can I say about these two dark horses. They are battlers alright, but not in the way I first thought. They have not had great luck in any of the challenges, except the one where you could give a crappy score to someone who’d done a great job on the Dinner Wars. I wrote about this elsewhere, on another site, Paper Trail, and I did feel mean; but righteous. Because that’s what personal blogs are all about, so take that humanity!
Okay. It’s Labour Weekend. I need to go apply some soil to a tomato plant and some tonic to a gin.
Next time on The Sane Companion: The Corporate Dads of MKR: Are they going to ‘pull through’ with their huge proteins? Any time soon?