The other night I lay in bed listening to the National Programme and suddenly, the sound of Temuera Morrison doing It’s Not Unusual came about the room, like spirit.
I’m pretty sure this album has been around awhile, but it was news to me, and I sat bolt upright and immediately began to self-strangulate.
Why? My inner monologue screamed into the abyss.
Why. Why. Why. Why. Why.
Why would Tem Morrison do a cover of this song?
People like Tem need to take the road less traveled, lest they end up in the bargain bin (at the dairy, not even The Warehouse).
I suggest Tem tries (in a year, when everyone has forgotten about this album; although did people forget about Paul Holmes’ attempt at a cover album? No, they have fucking not) to adapt more swagger and try covering any number of the “cool” artists, such as:
1. Temuera Morrison — Song to the Siren — This Mortal Coil
Fantastic 4AD outfit featuring Liz Fraser of Cocteau Twins fame. Game changer. No.1 for Christmas. Interviews with Paul Henry.
2. Temuera Morrison — With Arms Wide Open — Creed
Scott Stapp has hit the musical, spiritual, financial, emotional, economical, metaphysical, and physical wall. Tem doing this cover could solve a number of issues. The royalties would start slamming into the Stappmeister’s Bankruptcy Holdings account like there’s no tomorrow.
3. Temuera Morrison — Wichita Lineman — Glenn Campbell
No brainer. Can you think of a better song for Tem? Apart from Gloria, by Laura Branigan?
4. Temuera Morrison — Last Nite — The Strokes
The Strokes. Tem. The Strokes. Tem. The Strokes.
On some level, this works, right?
5. Temuera Morrison — E Ipo — Prince Tui Teka
Let’s cut the shit. This needs to be done (again) but let’s have that mega-French dick Dave Guetta get all over it. Put your hands in the air. Put ’em up like you just don’t
Tem, after releasing said above album, gets two friends and opens a bar and grill in Auckland. Live acoustic music, steak ‘n chips, movie memorabilia, and Tem, behind the bar. Now THAT would work. Hook us up, Tem.