If you are at home tonight, saving yourself for the Big Waitangi weekend, you are not alone.
I imagine that you, like me are sat in your living room, watching television and thinking it’s Friday when it’s just Thursday and cursing the day that long weekends were invented, such is the disruption to normal television viewing expectation.
You are probably also incredibly sober, a bit twitchy and gripping your mySky remote just a touch too sweatily and tight.
Let me guide you through this period of ennui.
Tonight on the tele, The Bourne Identity is on. Someone, somewhere in television DECIDED that it was high time this was rotated again and it’s a film I’ve never got all the way through and that is also going to be true of this screening tonight.
I don’t know what it is, maybe it’s faux Cold War movies, or Matt Damon, who always looks to me like he’s come straight from 7th Form at St Kent’s Pakuranga, which is pretty asexual in itself.
On another channel there is Michael Palin roaming the grassy knolls of Morovia. He’s on a steam train at the moment.
Now someone is felling a large tree, as the axe has been replaced by the chainsaw in this culture.
He’s having a glass of ancient booze.
Back to the train, they take the logs into town.