Dirty Fashions: Election Edition

Policy wars, first debates and USB sticks filled with grotesque secret emails aside, there’s something else awful happening in the political sphere this month.

Fashion.

Let’s cut to it:

1. Mike Hosking’s 3-Piece Suit, The First Leaders’ Debate, TVNZ1

hosk

Kiss my ring.

Hosking was clearly wanting approval. The only reason you’d wear your best 3-piece on live television is if you thought you were going to be ‘made’ by the Godfather. Oh, wait…

Overwrought, obvious and overdone. Which can also be said of Hosking’s weird triangulation tactics and weapons-grade biased questioning.

 

2. Cameron Slater’s sleeveless jerkin at Counties Manukau Police Station

slater

Thought cloud: Pfffft.

Slater wears what I call ‘litigator chic’. These types spend the other half of their spare time fucking people over in court about something irrelevant like a $235 coffee table that was misrepresented on Trade Me as being solid Rimu. Court is expensive, hence the Tarocash gear.

 

3. Nicky Hager

hager

Shirt n jersey schtick

Hager rocks a Minto vibe. No time for bangin’ clobber when you’ve got an Atlas sized flashstick of leaks to process before a general election.  I know he’s not, but he’s got ‘Southland maths teacher’ written all over him.  I’d like to see the Crane Brothers get hold of him, actually.  Could that happen?

 

4. Internet Mana at the Internet Mana Campaign Launch

Pam-Corkery--Laila-Harre-and-Kim-Dotcom-at-Internet-Mana-campaign-launch--24aug2014--Getty-Images

Geared up

I believe Harre is going for the Matrix look but in grey.  That would work as a theme, right?  Hacking, alternative realities.  Remember that scene in Reloaded where Morpheus incites the oppressed masses to fight “The Machines”?  Yeah, that.  Corkery on the other hand reminds me of myself when I get cross with my children on the school run.  Frazzled, fish-wifey and in need of horse tranquilizer.  And that’s just the fashion alone.  As for Dotcom.  I can never actually see what he’s wearing – it all merges into a black onesie with a scarf to break the head from the amorphous mass of black fabric.

 

5.   ACT.  Anywhere.

act

Hi. HI. Hi. HI.

I’ve suddenly realised that the ACT Party dress like Carlton off the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  A navy blazer and a tan slack says ‘I live near Newmarket’.

 

 

Have a nice weekend everyone.  Next time on The Sane Companion:  Those Bogans off My Kitchen Rules.  Love them or hate them, there’s no call to be dissing their meat with three vegetables.  Grow up New Zealand.

 

4 Comments

  1. I get the same ‘consumed by hatred’ vibe from both Hager and Minto, they both look like they’ve used up extra calories having sweaty wet dreams about Lenin matching out of the crypt, Simpsons style. Also, nice use of ‘weapons-grade’ 🙂

    • Thanks for lending me weapons-grade. You’ve painted such a disturbing picture of the sweaty left that I need a strong drink.

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