Deidre’s Belt: A Quick Guide to Coronation Street

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Jason has his Golden Fleece, Deirdre her belt. P Daddy looks on

Like Orion’s Belt, Deidre Barlow’s belt is hopefully taking in the great wonder of life from the sky.

Deirdre is still alive and well on our screens as are Ken, Norris, Rita, and the one that got bashed by Richard.

It’s not that complex. The Street is not really overly complex to understand.

1. Everyone on the Street either works for Owen, Carla, Nick, Steve, Audrey, Roy  or Stella.

2. In any small town like Weatherfield, the only services you need are a taxi, hairdresser, boozer (a public house and a classy wine bar), a dairy and a TAB.

3. Deirdre smokes real fags.

4. Carla and Michelle are not sisters.

5. Gary is a ‘gingerminge’ and his surname is Windarse.

6. Half the cast are missing because in real life they are facing criminal charges.

7. Gail will probably end up marrying her son, David, Greek tragedy styles.

8. Tyrone went to the shops to get milk a few weeks ago and hasn’t returned.

9. Jason wears Ugg boots and trackies out on the town and has had sexual relations with almost everyone on the street; despite this, still more women (knowing this) partner with him, and want him.

10. No-one seems overly concerned with climate change.

 

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