Category Archives: TV

New Show for the 7.30pm Slot

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I’m on the hunt for a new TV show, for the 7.30 slot, now that Married at First Sight is nearly over. I’m yearning for more.  The 8.30pm Viking-themed rape-fests available these days — they aren’t really for me.  Isn’t there something we could sit down and watch with the kids?  Something like … Rip Tide?   1.  Rip Tide These… Read more »

The Dating Game: The Bachelor New Zealand Finale

I’ve sat through the second season of The Bachelor—like everyone else who has bothered to watch—with a sense of despondency, shame, bemusement and stupefaction. It’s nothing like the first series, with the strapping, amusing Art Green who—despite being some sort of MediaWorks plant (probably)—at least had an inner spark greater than a Bic lighter. Jordan is okay. At the end… Read more »

Coronation Street’s Deep Thinker: Tim Metcalfe

Tim Metcalfe is a hapless Englishman, stuck in the middle of others’ drama, in a suburb called Weatherfield. If you thought Steve MacDonald or Peter Barlow had fairly hard existences, think again. Windass Tim entered the show in 2013 as the birth father of Faye Windass, who is the adoptive daughter of Anna and Eddie Windass. Yes. Windass. Initially he… Read more »

Deidre’s Belt: A Quick Guide to Coronation Street

Like Orion’s Belt, Deidre Barlow’s belt is hopefully taking in the great wonder of life from the sky. Deirdre is still alive and well on our screens as are Ken, Norris, Rita, and the one that got bashed by Richard. It’s not that complex. The Street is not really overly complex to understand. 1. Everyone on the Street either works… Read more »

The Chase

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Of a weekday, you get The Chase after your “Maori News”. I’ve always watched Te Karere, always. I love it. It makes me feel like a proper New Zealander, unlike when I watch the news at 6pm. And then, The Chase. Danny from Coronation Street, with his frankly illegal eyelashes, shard-like blue eyes, and hilarious patter ushers out some of… Read more »

Coming down again: Episode Two, The Bachelor NZ

Last night, Episode Two of The Bachelor of New Zealand screened, and didn’t we all cringe though another episode, and ask ourselves why we were doing this, what with so much other quality viewing to choose from on terrestrial television. Episode Two was like Coming Down Again, by the Stones. Now that we have met the girls (and the boy),… Read more »

Drunk in Love: The Bachelor 2015

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I am really feeling for the families of the TVNZ show, Our First Home, tonight. After the shit storm of X Factor (which it clashes with on several nights), I was thinking how such a show — one that is ostensibly quite asinine, family orientated and tedious — at least has warmth, unlike the pit-viper infested environment of the glittery… Read more »

Location, location, location …

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Just before Coronation Street of a Friday is a show about home ownership, the current force/trend of western European history.  It’s no longer imperialism; it’s Location. In about 100 years’ time, there will be papers to take at university in modern history that will look very different to the papers I took, From the Treaty of Versailles to Pearl Harbour… Read more »

Gail Force

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  Gail Platt is everywoman. Think you’re not like her?  You are.  All women are, or become her at some stage. Who is she? She’s an oversexed llama at first glance.  She falls in deep, and lusts with all her heart. She likes the bad boys.  The ones with money and power.  She is easily fooled by the mail-order correspondence… Read more »

Help for Insomniacs

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If you are at home tonight, saving yourself for the Big Waitangi weekend, you are not alone. I imagine that you, like me are sat in your living room, watching television and thinking it’s Friday when it’s just Thursday and cursing the day that long weekends were invented, such is the disruption to normal television viewing expectation. You are probably… Read more »

The Bachelor New Zealand 2015

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  What we all need after the divisive election result — of The Block — is something to unify us as a nation. For me that is pretty much it.  Last year was so depressing, really, with the politics and all the other shit, and I am looking forward to some fresh perspectives, and lo!, MediaWorks TV have delivered the payload… Read more »

The Block: After The Love Has Gone…

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After all is said and done, what has happened on The Block NZ 2014 is no real surprise, given that a) it’s set in Auckland, b) it stars people from Auckland, and c) it thrives on the kind of festering cut-throat competition that exists in the modern era.  Of Auckland. Good old little Pt Chev eh?  Little old Pt Chev. … Read more »

The Block NZ – Knocked Around and Knocked Up

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In about July of this year, I did what bloggers sometimes do. I read an article in a newspaper (online, not even the paper version) and had a white, middle-class reaction to it. I then hopped on my blog and blogged up a story around it, having carried out none of my own research at all, and posted the blog…. Read more »

The Aucklanders of MKRNZ: How cool is it to live on the Shore?

  In terms of great reality television quotes of Western Civilization, “How cool is it to live on the Shore” deserves a prize. Doesn’t it. Tonight on My Kitchen Rules New Zealand, the Corporate Dads, Aaron and Josh take helm at the galley, promising us ‘big flavours and big proteins’. Big proteins, saucy rubs.  Do these guys ever practise talking… Read more »