Category Archives: Marriage

Wicker Chair

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On Monday there was a wicker chair, its threads woven into the frame in a lacklustre taupe next to a rusted lamp stand. The shade askew and its plastic backing peeling.   On the Wednesday it rained and the soaked carpets spored black. The vans stooped and floated past the busted plastic chairs towards the power drill with its cut… Read more »

Trending: #dadbods

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Dadbods are male bodies that have become out of shape owing to years of neglect due to having children, who restrict you from any form of diet or exercise. Even your Saturday night knee-trembler won’t burn enough kilojoules to counter the effects of this look. They are fleshy, like an over-boiled cabbage. If you pushed your finger into the flesh,… Read more »

Getting Married

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    I’m still not married yet. I’m supposed to be, this year.  Right now. I’m noticing that this year is almost closing and I never organized my wedding, like I was supposed to. From what I can tell, I was supposed to: – nail down a day and time – tell people what was happening – arrange a four-piece… Read more »

You Will Always Find Me in the Kitchen at Parties

  I’m no good at parties. I’m no good at them.  Times have changed since 1992 where I could just arrive, take the top off a Rheineck, shout out to people who weren’t even listening anyway, and immediately start dancing to Outshined by Soundgarden. At these gatherings, you could spend up to five hours not saying much at all to people… Read more »

Purchased Entitlement II: The Clooney Nuptials

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The coverage of George Clooney’s wedding is now available. A while ago, I wrote a blog post about the Kardashian wedding between Kim and Kanye. They, too, thought that turning up to historical locations with the propaganda machine would cement them as an intrinsic part of the history of that monument or locale. All of the big egotists have done… Read more »

Affairs and cheating: Domestic Malaise?

Why do people have affairs? I have just finished watching a particularly disturbing series called The Tunnel and in amongst the terrorist-themed plot, the writers nest a requisite subplot about the main character – a really decent guy played by the incredibly sexy (sorry, AND talented) Stephen Dillane.  You can also see him as some kind of fur wearing contender… Read more »