Author Archives: Katherine

Back to School

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Many of us, on turning 45, decide that we desperately need to do a Masterate, and just like that we are back at university, such is the ease of enrolment, extramural study, access to money and the luxury of real thinking. Back in our first degrees, some of us hung on by the skin of our teeth. We’d reached the… Read more »

The Dating Game: The Bachelor New Zealand Finale

I’ve sat through the second season of The Bachelor—like everyone else who has bothered to watch—with a sense of despondency, shame, bemusement and stupefaction. It’s nothing like the first series, with the strapping, amusing Art Green who—despite being some sort of MediaWorks plant (probably)—at least had an inner spark greater than a Bic lighter. Jordan is okay. At the end… Read more »

Coronation Street’s Deep Thinker: Tim Metcalfe

Tim Metcalfe is a hapless Englishman, stuck in the middle of others’ drama, in a suburb called Weatherfield. If you thought Steve MacDonald or Peter Barlow had fairly hard existences, think again. Windass Tim entered the show in 2013 as the birth father of Faye Windass, who is the adoptive daughter of Anna and Eddie Windass. Yes. Windass. Initially he… Read more »


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Remember June and Steph, the ‘Bogan Besties’ of My Kitchen Rules? They were functional bogans.  They showed that bogans were no longer just bong-toting types with a penchant tyre fires and Corrosion of Conformity.  The friends were acceptable, taxpaying, school-run bogans, who probably shopped at Caroline Eve. I had bogan mates at school.  Maybe I was one too? In ’87,… Read more »

The Suburban Shopping Mall

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  There is a place where we all ultimately go, like McDonald’s or BB’s Cafe, and that place is called the local shopping mall. The local malls have been undercut by the Westfields but they stand, steadfast, like a beacon of cheapness, scattered across suburban New Zealand. They’re places to go when the big malls are too scary, and you’re… Read more »

Blind date

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I recently heard a few tales of online dating. It seems there’s a swag of blokes out there who are great company, are CEOs, have extensive land portfolios and are generally all-round GCs. That’s what it says in their bio. Yet, they are single. What gives? And what happens when you swipe right? Let’s take a walk through a few… Read more »

Those who can, do. Those who can’t, bully

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A lot has been written around the workplace bully. One of the most prolific researchers was the late Tim Field who shared his findings here. He carried out fairly extensive research into how the bully operates in the workplace and it is quite an eye-opener. His premise is:  Those who can, do. Those who can’t, bully. In short, he asserted… Read more »

Great New Zealand Archetypes: The Used Car Salesman

I recently visited one of those great New Zealand institutions: the Greenlane car yard. This one was intimate and very close to the interchange. A small Gottage with a sliding door, an electric kettle and a clunky desktop computer formed the annex of this operation. It was raining. The water beaded off the cars, and the Greenlane roads roared with… Read more »

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

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  Function rooms and ferries everywhere are being hastily booked out in anticipation of the upcoming silly season, says every office manager across the land. Ask them. But what if you miss out on your booking? Are you going to have to have the party at … the manager’s house? Erase that negative thinking. There are other options left: the… Read more »

Wicker Chair

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On Monday there was a wicker chair, its threads woven into the frame in a lacklustre taupe next to a rusted lamp stand. The shade askew and its plastic backing peeling.   On the Wednesday it rained and the soaked carpets spored black. The vans stooped and floated past the busted plastic chairs towards the power drill with its cut… Read more »

New Zealand’s Hottest Broadcasters II

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Last year I wrote a heartfelt blog post about the weapons-grade heat being emitted by some of our broadcasters, be they television, radio or print media. We’ve since had flag debates, housing debates, debates about what’s fit for tele, and currently we are having all-important rugby debates. How I love them. But one thing remains assured, one thing that’s not… Read more »

Destiny’s Child: The New Jesus

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  Who is your Jesus? As Depeche Mode once semi-successfully said; Jesus is someone to hear your prayer, someone who cares. I have encountered different kinds of Jesus over the years. Firstly, let me just say; I am almost a fully-blown atheist. The ‘almost’ part is the agnostic remains, sitting patiently, waiting for that bolt of evidence to shake me… Read more »

Brut 33 as Motivational Discourse

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  Surely Liam Messam, and any guy in this country, knows of the Brut 33 curse? Worn only by year 12 students to the school formal in 1986—because a few droplets, only, remained in dad’s glass bottle on the glass shelf in the bathroom—Liam has taken a massive leap of faith to make the scent equivalent of Jamaican rum and… Read more »

Preloading for the World Cup

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A very wise woman on Twitter said in reply to something I Twote: @KStew70 It sounds like the pre-Ramadan stock-up by Middle Eastern expats….I need to head eastwards. — aluap (@kiwipaula) September 19, 2015 This is true. The context of our conversation was the beginning of the Rugby World Cup 2015, and the way rugby is tied to alcohol consumption…. Read more »