Author Archives: Katherine

Rites of Passage: The Dental Nurse

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Back in 1981 the dental nurse was on-site at most primary and intermediate schools throughout New Zealand. We had one at Owairoa Primary School. The nurse had a tight ringlet perm and she played rock music on her wireless. Around the clinic were posters of rotten gums, but it was okay. Once a year you could enter a competition where… Read more »

Hi, my name is Tarquin. I don’t watch Game of Thrones.

Scene:  A typical white middle class drink-up.  It’s late.  People are barefoot and sitting on the floor. Jonathan:  (pouring a large bowl of Pinot) So, is everyone ready for Game of Thrones? Helen: Oh yes. It’s amazing. And people break off into small private conversations about other shows they are currently watching featuring home bakes, gun battles and guys with… Read more »

The Sting of the Tweet

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I joined Twitter in 2012. My first followers were Marcus Lush and Ali Ikram, only because I followed them first. But they were my first. “What is this place?” I thought, so different from the Friends Reunited format of Facebook, where your pending friend request to your former lover/friend would sit unanswered for two months until you were shamefully forced… Read more »

Rites of Passage: New Zealand Survivor

  Survivor: Nicaragua begins tomorrow and I’m already laughing, because why do we think, in this country, that we have to go to “Nicaragua” to survive something? It’s a bit old-hat now that we have a housing and poverty crisis here in our first-world cities, and those of us who are at the opposite end of that continuum spend an… Read more »

New Show for the 7.30pm Slot

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I’m on the hunt for a new TV show, for the 7.30 slot, now that Married at First Sight is nearly over. I’m yearning for more.  The 8.30pm Viking-themed rape-fests available these days — they aren’t really for me.  Isn’t there something we could sit down and watch with the kids?  Something like … Rip Tide?   1.  Rip Tide These… Read more »

Great New Zealand Archetypes: The Alfa Driver

  One time recently, I glanced over at our DVD collection of James Bond titles. I wondered, at what time in my life did I decide this was ok, to actually make a point of collecting James Bond movies, and to actually sit around having conversations about who did it best, and argue a case for Daniel Craig? The simple… Read more »

The Sin Eater

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A Sin Eater used to lay out bread on a corpse and eat the sin-soaked food and save a soul.   I’m a modern-day Sin Eater. But still, give me platesful of corpse cake and take me to your graveside to dine alone.   The grave is freshly-dug and empty; so I wait. Wine (and bread) take away the sting… Read more »

The Crossing

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  I’ve just been to a new shopping complex in Tauranga called “Tauranga Crossing“. It sits in a new development in the Western Bay called The Lakes. The Warehouse Brand-new but age-old. Luxury aisles in which to swing your trolley toward the Rachel H fashion line or pallets of bulk-lolly mix. Here, you can also shop for Amy Winehouse on… Read more »

A Thousand Yards

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A Thousand Yards Between the blossom trees and along the straight, gravelled avenue the tall chimney rises. The polished steel is hot and deranges the stark slate of the blue sky beyond.   You took one thousand strokes on a hired exercise machine in the cold unlined garage, while outside your small shrubs grew up around you; your stare down… Read more »