Monthly Archives: December 2014

New Year

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  In New Zealand, New Year’s Eve begins at midday on the 30th.  That was today. This is signaled by whoever has fronted with the keg. Once the keg had been tapped, it’s a bit like the opening ceremony of the Olympics, where they light the cauldron.  Faces of anticipation turn to fully-blown alcoholic wonderment as beer froths from the… Read more »

Magazine Round-Up: Angelina’s Facial Shame

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Continuing on with this summer’s inadvertent series about women’s magazine reporting, I came across another strange article about Angelina Jolie, the time she went out on the town with cocaine all down the side of her face. That’s right, you heard it here.  Little Miss Perfect, who never puts a foot wrong, looked very silly, because unbeknownst to her, she’d… Read more »

Worst Christmas Movies

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  1.  Christmas With the Kranks Bollock-bad movie starring between-gig Tim Allen and Jamie-Lee Curtis.  Just awful.  You can’t get this 1 1/2 hours back in your life. However, if for some reason it’s all that there is on from the 100+ channels available, then here’s the basic plot: Tim Allen is a wacky old dad and Jamie-Lee; long-suffering mum. … Read more »

Nicky Hager defends Dirty Politics … again

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So right now on RNZ, Kathryn Ryan is giving another balanced viewpoint about the timing, implication, validity and methods behind Dirty Politics. Cough. What seems to have come out of the whole saga is that the Nats and supporters position New Zealand politics as inherently ‘dirty’.  We are supposed to accept this as a given and as part and parcel… Read more »

Do I Know it’s Christmas?

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I’ve just seen a cartoon gift box ‘rapping’* about Christmas on New Zealand television. I’ve seen an electric machine that catches many, many snapper while the family sit in directors’ chairs, looking on impatiently. I’ve seen adult onesies.  Nothing new, I know.  Doesn’t anyone have sex anymore? I’ve seen mobile phones for $14. I’ve seen Mike Puru on the Yesshop… Read more »

Madonna Feminism

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“Remembering that Madonna is a construct; a very talented chameleon who spends her life on the lookout for a weakness in the industry to exploit.” I am struggling to see how posing partially clothed is a form of female empowerment or — more seriously — a kind of feminism. Let’s remember that feminism as a movement was born out of… Read more »

Best Christmas Presents for 2014: The Fishing Grenade

I was relaxed about fishing processes until the other day I saw an advert for a machine that brings you fish. Not long ago my son who is four asked me to take him fishing.  I accepted.  I imagined that I would go and buy a reel of nylon, a couple of hooks from the fishing shop, some kind of… Read more »

Songs for Tem

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The other night I lay in bed listening to the National Programme and suddenly, the sound of Temuera  Morrison doing It’s Not Unusual came about the room, like spirit. I’m pretty sure this album has been around awhile, but it was news to me, and I sat bolt upright and immediately began to self-strangulate. Why? My inner monologue screamed into… Read more »

School Reports – Compliance Hell

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Compliance is a kind of hell that doesn’t live in the bowels of the earth, it lives on your doorstep, in your letterbox and, at this time of year, in your child’s school bag in the form of a school report. If you have never written a report for a school-age child, you haven’t lived!  I can give you an… Read more »