Monthly Archives: November 2014

When Trades go bad

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We’ve all had a bad experience or three on Trade Me. It’s not the company per se, it’s the people who use it.  A bit like hand guns. You’ve wrapped the six sets of Merino wool, never-worn socks.  The money has just gone in your account.  You decide to post the item right away, because you are magnanimous.  Your Trade… Read more »

Rumble in the Car Park Jungle

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    I’ve had it with Auckland people and car park rumbling. Who knew that aside from a single bedroom apartment in Dannemora for $890,000, a car park could be such a precious piece of real estate? Let me set the scene: it’s 2.40pm.  It’s school run time. How I love it!  I always look forward to lugging two tired,… Read more »

The Best Ad in New Zealand History

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  The KiwiRail Scenic Journeys advertisement, featuring the duet from The Pearl Fishers. What happens in the scenes on this train journey montage is exactly what happens on this kind of trip through New Zealand: you begin to look outward yet inward too, and it can be a real epiphany. This advertisement reminds me of my late father, who loved… Read more »

Funeral Insurance: What Will Become of the Little Children?

We’ve arrived. We all die, and when that happens, no one wants to be put out in a rubbish sack. Funeral plans ensure that will never happen … or do they? The baby boomers are aging, they are comfortably set up and they are spending the ’70s childrens’ inheritance on retirement villages, overseas holidays, investment properties, New Idea magazines, and… Read more »

Love Your Work

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Love your work I bet John Key says it to his PA as he flings an important file on their desk at 4.58pm. I bet Kim Dotcom says it awkwardly I larve your verk! I can hear it coming from the small accounting firms of Haast, right through to the management room at Rainbow’s End, through the loudspeaker system at… Read more »

How to Become a Troll

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I have an image in my head of a troll being a small, malevolent man with a white beard who lives under a bridge and leaps out at goats as they wander past, scaring them and generally vexing them at every turn. A modern troll looks different than that, but the same behaviour applies. Just visit any comments section or… Read more »

The Block Fashion Police

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  Just got back from the school disco, where I accompanied my daughter and stepson. It was great.  They had a ball, with the glo sticks, the sugar, the tooth decay and the nausea from listening to the music of Taylor Swift. Once I’d settled on the couch and ordered dinner, I tuned into The Block finale.  Everyone is dressed… Read more »

History Hotties

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A couple of weeks ago, Sky TV sent me a kindly email offering me a free two-week subscription to one of a small selection of channels of my choice, on the proviso that they could then snatch it all away from me once the deal was over. I accepted.  I chose Arts, because I have had it before, but also… Read more »

Getting Married

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    I’m still not married yet. I’m supposed to be, this year.  Right now. I’m noticing that this year is almost closing and I never organized my wedding, like I was supposed to. From what I can tell, I was supposed to: – nail down a day and time – tell people what was happening – arrange a four-piece… Read more »

PS4: Suburban Defender

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I’m about to pitch a new game to the people at Sony. It’s an RPG set in a dystopian future, of course.  The great thing about it is that you get to create the dystopian future in the first part of the game! You can choose a character from a wide list of types, and of course customize each to… Read more »

MASTERCHEF MADE ME WANT TO SLEEP WITH DUMPLINGS, AGAIN.

(or how Katherine grudgingly gave me space on her blog) Dear friends, brothers and sisters, and perhaps, if I can get away with it; comrades. I report back to you following my somewhat successful journey behind the silver curtain, I have seen the insides — and I can tell you without pretense, conceit, and though we may need to revisit… Read more »